LASCIATE OGNE SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE
Abandon all hope, ye that enter here

Our time on earth is an irreplaceable gift, one to be treasured and relished for every moment; life is a fragile gift that is delivered to us in pieces,and it only achieves meaning as we cherish and blend the pieces---even the seemingly insignificant pieces---into a full universal whole.

"You can't help who you love. . only how you love them"

"You don’t know my pain, so I tell it. You don’t know the reasons, so you read further. You don’t know the results, so you read the end. Even now you don’t know the whole story; you haven’t lived it.

You try to relate what you read to your own life, but your life isn’t mine. Your pain isn’t my pain, you may relate to my pain, but you cannot share in it. My experiences aren’t yours, you see parallels, but you haven’t experienced my experiences. You don’t fucking know how my life is.

I don’t write for you, I write for myself. I want to get something off my chest; not entertain you. If you get entertainment from reading this, that’s a bonus- for both of us, but especially you.

My pain makes you feel sorry. My heartache makes you pity. My depression makes you sad. My writing makes me feel relieved, your reaction makes me… well, nothing at all. I don’t give a shit how you react.

What do you know about me?

Nothing more than I tell.

Why do you care how I feel?

Maybe you understand.

You don’t know who I am, you don’t know my motives, you don’t know my past, my future, my plans, my failures, my cares, wants, needs. But you read on, lest you miss something. Why the hell should you even bother to read this? Because you want to know; you want to relate.

You’re just one of many. I can’t distinguish you from the rest, though I’m speaking to you right now.

You think you know me now? Maybe you see how I write, but, uh, you have no idea of my personality. You don’t know how I act with friends. You don’t know how I act in public. You wouldn’t know me if you met me - I guarantee it. I could be what you hate most. I could be a complete jerk. I could be racist, or homophobic, something of that nature. Wouldn’t it suck if you liked my writing without even knowing that I hate people like you?

You think you’re important? Well, not to me. You think you know what you’re talking about? Heh, I certainly don’t

Well, I’m gonna go now, I don’t have time to waste on you. I have to go write more." ~Ramuel


"When you come to the evolution of the dance, its history and philosophy, I know as much about that as I do about how a television tube produces a picture --- which is absolutely nothing. I don't know how it all started and I don't want to know. I have no desire to prove anything by it. I have have never used it as an outlet or as a means of expressing myself.
I just dance." ~ Fred Astaire
sora195
read my profile
sign my guestbook

Visit sora195's Xanga Site!

Country: United States
State: Ithaca, NY
Birthday: 9/25/1986
Gender: Female


Interests: violin, ballet, tahitian dancing, poetry, drawing, reading, philosophy, researching religions, break dancing, anime, writing a novel, teaching the violin, tutoring, chattin online, bugging my brother, stressing, growing out my hair, heart breaking, and flirtin ;)




Expertise: Dancing, Music, Art (basically most aspects of the creative arts), being annoying, violin playing, teaching, bitchin,and poetry, listening





Occupation: Student
Industry: Art


Message: message me
Website: visit my website


Member Since: 8/4/2003

SubscriptionsSites I Read

Blogrings
Miramonte Matadors
previous - random - next

Les Danseurs Tahitiens
previous - random - next

*:+:* Azn pRiDe *:+:*
previous - random - next

.oO Bubble Tea Oo.
previous - random - next

* [ ! N o r C a L / B a y A r e A ! ] *
previous - random - next

*~ Anime and Manga~*
previous - random - next

Ithaca College
previous - random - next


Posting Calendar

|<< oldest | newest >>|
view all weblog archives

Get Involved!

Suggest a link

Recommend to friend

Create a site


Tuesday, October 09, 2007

so I've had this blog since I was about 14 and I honestly feel that its time to move on.  This has been a great way to get my thoughts out but I don't think I'll be posting here anymore. That is all.


Thursday, September 13, 2007

Heyo I am still alive, I've just been busy.  I've been in Ithaca for about a month now and am almost done with my first full week of classes.  The first two weeks were partial.  I enjoy most of my seven classes, some keep me running around like mad but I enjoy it for the most part.  Best class is definately my Grants and Proposal writing class, it is also by far my heaviest workload.  Other than that I'm just super busy.  I'm choreographing a hip hop dance this year, which is not my usual genre but I'm enjoying pushing my boundaries as a dancer and a choreographer.  I've also agreed to help my friend Jeff teach some local kids hip hop every week.  I'm rather excited about it, because not only do I get to try out new moves, teach (which is something I love to do), but he's also agreed to help split the amount of money.  Which while it isn't a huge sum, is still decent, and I'm grateful just for the outlet.  I've also been declared temporary leader of the Model UN team.  Which is fun, but stressful at the same time.  We've just started the interview process and I just feel warn out by the whole thing.  I hate judging people, especially when I'm comparing them to other people, it just feels wrong to me.  Like who am I to judge, what makes me so damn awesome that I should be judging people and determining who is 'worthy' of making the team.  Aside from that I'm just adjusting to having a compeletely full schedule and the workload that comes with it.  But it feels good to be busy and I'm really enjoying my housemates.  They're awesome, and our late night chats over large mugs of tea make it all worth while.  So yeah, I'm still alive, I'll try and check in every now and then.  Hope all is well.


Wednesday, July 11, 2007

This weekend was busy to say the least. On Friday Thomas came home, and we all went out to Korean food. Which was delicious as always. Went home to practice and rehearse for the wedding, and while tuning Thomas' violin he managed to crack the peg down the middle (something we later learned at Ifshin's that was believed impossible). Managed to practice on a back up realize we're not in too bad of shape so that's a small comfort. Really worried about the arrangement of the prayer though, because it sounds kinda funny right now and Thomas' vote is that it sucks, the primary reason for that is because he has to learn something new which loosely translates into more practice time. So we all got up the next day to get the violin fixed, went rather smoothly, I got the chance to test out a violin, since I'm slowly getting on the market for something of a better caliber than what I currently play. So we'll see how that goes. That evening we went to my mom's boss' house for dinner. When we got there their cat was sitting in the front lawn looking at something. We weren't sure what it was at first, thought it might be a kitten or a large rodent of some sort. Got a closer look and it was this naked rodent like thing which had its eyes stuck closed. We took it in luckily that cat hadn't harmed it in anyway. So we called various places and for awhile assumed that it was a baby possum that had fallen out of its pouch. We ended up taking it to the Lindsey Museum, where we found out that it was a baby foxtail squirrel. I feel better now that its in capable hands. Sunday I got the chance to hang out with Royce and his cousin James, who I hadn't seen in like. . twelve years. It was kinda crazy but lots of fun. I ended up getting called in for work on Saturday night so I guess I didn't work myself out of a job since they found stuff for me to do. So yeah been hitting the gym every night so far this week, which isn't saying much, but I managed to do an hour of cardio tonight and that makes me really proud of myself. Hopefully I will be in shape for this vacation we're leaving for next week.


Saturday, July 07, 2007

So today has been a wave of mixed blessings and compliments. I'm really not sure what to think anymore. i was told at work that I didn't need to come in on Monday, because I was so damn efficient I essentially worked myself out of a job. Which could be a compliment but kinda sucks all the same cause I like going to work. Weird as that sounds, the people are really cool, the work isn't too hard, I just need to slow down I guess. I'm going to work on going fast but not too fast. On the plus side the organization steps I took iniative on are working wonderfully which has also aided in speeding up the time it takes to complete tasks. So yeah on another note I just got the grade for my Gender in American Culture class and I got an. . A!!!! Which means I got two A's in summer school at UC Berkeley. I feel so proud of myself right now its really rather ridiculous. I guess my hard work really did pay off, and now how to reward myself. . I really want an mp3 player so maybe I should just cave in and get an iPod, although I still feel like if I wait a little bit longer the next generation of players will be out anyways. Hm . . decisions decisions. So yeah short little update there for all of my 'devoted readers' although some of them have forgotten how to write in their own blogs it would seem.


Wednesday, July 04, 2007

The best part about summer is definitely the fresh fruit.  Went to Costco this weekend and totally loaded up on it with cherries, strawberries, mangoes, blueberries, and my personal favorite Peaches!! And not just white ones but yellow ones too!! They're delicious and make me happy. So yes yay summer for the harvest and all the delicious things nature has created that don't require extra sugar or fake additives that really aren't that good for you to begin with.

 Kinda like how my new job is working out, its a lot of work, mainly busy brainless things, like filing invoices, xeroxing ( I can actually call it that since our copy machine is by Xerox :P), and other odds and ends.  But my coworkers are super nice and helpful, and my boss is so nice and understanding about things. Its really casual even though its a small company.  For those who are wondering I work for a real-estate software company.  I'm learning a lot just by watching how they keep the books and interact with customers over the telephone lines and through e-mail.  Been working really hard, I've actually been told that I might want to take a break, because I just keep doing stuff.  It's really not my fault that I can't stand being idle sometimes, especially when everyone else around me is so busy all the time.  But I was just given permission by the owner of the company to do some rearranging of the invoices to make it more accessible and stuff and she was pleased with my innovations.  I'm so glad I have this job, its way farther from home than my last summer job, but I'm making more money, and everyone knows that office work is way easier than retail.

Still waiting for my grade in my genders in American culture class, hoping I pulled off an A, which would mean I'd gotten my first 4.0, in like a million years, granted its only for one class but still. I'd be super proud of myself if I did manage it.  I think I'd get myself the Nintendo DS or a nano iPod with the money I earn working if I that happens, as a means of celebrating.  So we'll see what happens. I'll find out by Monday at the latest.

Saw an old friend I hadn't seen in a couple of years, ended up spending several hours in starbucks just talking and catching up on things.  It was so nice, we're planning on doing it again sometime.



Next 5 >>